While serving my mission in the Oregon Portland Mission, I had been placed with a great companion, a hard worker, who knew how to get things done. I enjoyed every minute with him. Then the dreadful day came transfer day. I stayed in the area, but my companion was transferred. From the first time, I saw my new companion I felt like I wasn’t going to like him. And I was right, I wasn’t a big fan of him, he didn’t like to work and it was hard to connect with him. I was filled with hatred towards him. How could I love my enemy when I couldn’t even love my companion.
This went on for weeks, and then months, no work was getting done and it seemed to me that no one wanted to even listen to us. It was very difficult for me, and what made it worse was I was blaming it all on my companion. I didn’t even realize that I hated him at the moment.
One morning, it was the morning of district meeting, I was praying to know what I could do to help the area out and get work going again. The following scripture came to my mind, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?” That is when it hit me, I hated my companion and I need to learn how to love him. Once I knew this I prayed to know how I could love someone I hated so much. The answer didn’t come to me right away, I was thinking of this all day. It was during district meeting when the answer came, I can’t remember who was talking, or what was being said, but I remember being told in my heart to write a list of at least 5 things I liked about my companion. My first thought was how could I do this, it seemed impossible. “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”
So after humbling myself, I got to work making the list. First, off it was very difficult to come up with things I liked about my companion, then one by one, things came to me, and pretty soon I had 5 things, then 10, then 20, and it just kept growing. What I thought was impossible became a reality.
Now it wasn’t like I loved him overnight, even though I had created the list of things I liked about him I still had to work at it. Since I was starting to relate to him, I could see what it might be like through his eyes, I could see what he was going through. I started to understand him and we became great friends.
I am grateful for the experience I had with this companion, and it helped me with some of my companions down the road. In fact, my mission president once told me the following: “You may be wondering why I am giving you ‘difficult’ companions. I tried putting them with the strict Elders and that didn’t work, so I am giving them to you.” About half of my companions were the “difficult” missionaries, but from my experience of hating my companion, God made it possible.
Sometimes we feel it can be easy to love our enemies, but loving our neighbor is extremely difficult. This is probably because we see and interact with our neighbors more than with our enemies. This means it is easier to become annoyed by them, and you are able to see the many faults which they have. We all have faults, so get over it! When we look for faults in others you are going to find them, if you look for things that make people awesome, you are going to see how awesome they are!
Now I know some of you are thinking that it is going to be difficult to come up with a list of things you like about someone you hate. That is okay to think, at first, that was my first reaction too. It was difficult for me at first, I was only looking at my companion through my natural eyes, those are the eyes that make things blurry and out of focus. Remember what it says in the 4th section of the Doctrine & Covenants, “with an eye single to the glory of God qualifies him for the work.” So if you are looking at others with just what you see, nothing will ever happen. You are going to have to get creative and think outside the box. To start your list off you can put that they are human, we are all human and I really like that! With my companion, I really like his ties.
Another thing you can do to help you see what you like about others is to serve them. This one is another difficult one to do, but I promise you it is possible! When you serve someone you get a glimpse into their life, you see their needs and desires. This opens a whole new world, “a new fantastic point of view.” If you are unsure about serving someone you hate start small, open the door for them, doorbell ditch a plate of cookies at their house, or even smile at them. What a difference it will make in their life and what a difference it will make in your life. I can’t promise you that things will be mended overnight or that you will automatically start loving everyone, but over time it will become easier, you will start to feel a genuine love for others, and pretty soon you will no longer have any enemies.
These are just 2 ways I have learned to love those I hated. How have you learned to love those you hate? Comment below!
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